Back on My Bullsh…I Mean Blog

Guess who’s back, back again.

Cool now I can look forward to Eminem running on repeat in my head during my weekly insomnia bouts.

I’ve neglected and then returned to blogging many times, so what’s one more?

Avery, looking innocent

Momming has been kicking my ass lately. The twins are almost two, a fact that I hope I don’t need to contextualize by bitching about how annoying almost-two-year-olds are, and how this is compounded beyond rational explanation when dealing with TWO almost-two-year-olds. And three and a half year old Avery, who was a (relative) delight at age two, has forced me to reassess my previous mockery of the term “threenager.”

Adorable curls

Ugh. Shit is hard. It’s so hard it’s hard to explain how hard it is. I’m too exhausted to relive it in my mind so I just go blank when people ask probing questions about the specific difficulties inherent to parenting three children who can’t wipe their own asses.

Nora’s natural state: in a park, screaming

Well fuck, I’ve been trying to think and to express myself more positively so my kids don’t grow into negative nancies like their mother, and based on the above you can probably guess how well that’s going. Stuff has also been really great in some ways!

I have three adorable (solid 5.5+ out of 10, each of them) and healthy*** children. My husband is pretty fucking great. And it’s basically summertime in Seattle. To the uninitiated, summer in Seattle is paradise. If Seattleites were lizard people who could soak up and then store the glory of Seattle summer to tap into during the unfortunate, dreary non-summer months, we would be so powerful we could take over the galaxy and enslave all lesser beings.

Hi Fam

Anyway, summer in Seattle = 80 degree weather with low humidity. Crisp views of snow-capped peaks. Hella boats, everywhere. Because there are a lot of richies in Seattle and richies LOVE boats.

To conclude, I still have three kids, still live in Seattle, and still pay hosting fees to maintain a blog I rarely post to! Fucking fascinating.

***Constantly virus ridden and also Liam probably needs surgery to correct his associative esotropia/stabismus AKA HE’S CROSS EYED and the not insignificant effort I expended forcing him to wear his supposedly corrective lenses was pointless because said lenses did absolutely nothing