It’s TMI thirty, and in other news I just had my crotch zapped with lasers. Good times! I’d been thinking about getting my bikini line lasered for a while. The Kardashians do it so it’s obviously a good idea. I read or saw on some reputable cultural source (e.g. US Weekly or E) that Kourtney K. has like, her entire body done. An amazing Amazon Local offer sealed the deal, and off I went to Kukumber Skin Lounge (it’s that place on 1^st Ave in downtown Seattle with the shady giant signs all over the front).

Seems legit!

Despite these signs/its ridic name, the place wasn’t sketchy inside (though some Yelpers would apparently beg to differ) and the technician seemed competent and knowledgeable, so I didn’t flee the scene. It was a fairly quick process and wasn’t very painful-just quick little pinches, maybe ten tops on either crotchburn (like sideburns… get it? I heart shitty portmanteaus). Today’s was the first of a total of six zapping sessions in which I will be partaking, spaced six weeks apart.

Hopefully that shit worked and my follicles will self destruct post haste. However I got all excited after my appointment and texted my sister who informed me that she attempted ye olde lasering earlier this year and it didn’t work for her. We’ll see. Hopefully she went somewhere even more questionable than Kukumber and/or harbors a special pubes of steel gene I didn’t inherit.