Back on My Bullsh…I Mean Blog

Guess who’s back, back again.

Cool now I can look forward to Eminem running on repeat in my head during my weekly insomnia bouts.

I’ve neglected and then returned to blogging many times, so what’s one more?

Avery, looking innocent

Momming has been kicking my ass lately. The twins are almost two, a fact that I hope I don’t need to contextualize by bitching about how annoying almost-two-year-olds are, and how this is compounded beyond rational explanation when dealing with TWO almost-two-year-olds. And three and a half year old Avery, who was a (relative) delight at age two, has forced me to reassess my previous mockery of the term “threenager.”

Adorable curls

Ugh. Shit is hard. It’s so hard it’s hard to explain how hard it is. I’m too exhausted to relive it in my mind so I just go blank when people ask probing questions about the specific difficulties inherent to parenting three children who can’t wipe their own asses.

Nora’s natural state: in a park, screaming

Well fuck, I’ve been trying to think and to express myself more positively so my kids don’t grow into negative nancies like their mother, and based on the above you can probably guess how well that’s going. Stuff has also been really great in some ways!

I have three adorable (solid 5.5+ out of 10, each of them) and healthy*** children. My husband is pretty fucking great. And it’s basically summertime in Seattle. To the uninitiated, summer in Seattle is paradise. If Seattleites were lizard people who could soak up and then store the glory of Seattle summer to tap into during the unfortunate, dreary non-summer months, we would be so powerful we could take over the galaxy and enslave all lesser beings.

Hi Fam

Anyway, summer in Seattle = 80 degree weather with low humidity. Crisp views of snow-capped peaks. Hella boats, everywhere. Because there are a lot of richies in Seattle and richies LOVE boats.

To conclude, I still have three kids, still live in Seattle, and still pay hosting fees to maintain a blog I rarely post to! Fucking fascinating.

***Constantly virus ridden and also Liam probably needs surgery to correct his associative esotropia/stabismus AKA HE’S CROSS EYED and the not insignificant effort I expended forcing him to wear his supposedly corrective lenses was pointless because said lenses did absolutely nothing

One Month, Three Kids under Three, Zero Nanny

So our much loved and much needed nanny (hi Gabrielle! We really do love you please never leave us again) left town for a month. We survived intact!

To be transparent, it was a convenient month to be childcare free. Travel plans and a heavy rotation of visiting relatives chopped up the month nicely. But it was still fucking hard. Googling “typical schedule stay at home mom three under three” helped me feel a little less shitty about how stressed and antsy I sometimes became. And reassured me that not filling the days with enriching, age appropriate activities and excursions didn’t mean I was neglecting and depriving my offspring. The motherhood guilt is real.

Big hat, small chair

The month is now a blur, but we definitely did a lot of stuff. Summer in Seattle things! We grilled a lot. I went on lots of walks and made lots of park trips. Those things are *somewhat* manageable while solo wrangling infant twins plus toddler. If you ever find yourself trapped at home alone losing your shit with three kids under three, and you live in Seattle, better hope it happens during summer.

Teaching his son how to rock a Hawaiian shirt

Another thing we did: travel by plane with all three kids. This was fairly exhausting, and at times mildly terrible, but made manageable by the presence of my father in law, the duration of the flight to Salt Lake City (90 minutes), and my husband’s MVP status with Alaska Airlines, which is obviously our favorite airline because we like to remain predictable by fulfilling as many Seattle stereotypes as possible.

Pool time

The trip went surprisingly well overall. My father in law’s new abode in Salt Lake City has a floatie equipped pool, which the kids loved. The weather was a delight; as a native Arizonan I am all about the dry heat. And Will and I got to sneak away for a couple dinners out (Red Iguana and Current Fish and Oyster. Both thoroughly enjoyable.) I also had my very first dueling piano bar experience. Weather, food and culture (and lots of international tourists…all LDS obviously)! Who needs Europe when you can go to Salt Lake City? Laugh/cry emoji.

Summer dinner get in my stomach

Another key achievement from the previous month: taking all three kids wine wasting. Apologies, Kerloo Cellars. We felt so guilty foisting our children on their tasting room that we joined their wine club! I highly recommend wine tasting in the Sodo area of Seattle if you enjoy wine, whether or not you have to pound your pours because you brought kids and they are losing their shit. Lots of great tasting rooms in close proximity to each other, but much less overrun than Woodinville. In addition to Kerloo’s Sodo tasting room, I like Rotie, Nine Hats, Sleight of Hand, and even the ubiquitous Charles Smith (maybe don’t bring kids to that one though). If you get sick of wine, Schooner Exact Brewing has a full menu and a kids’ play area.

Well, summer in Seattle continues, only now it’s 1000% better because I have childcare and can sometimes escape my children. I see a lot of grilled food, many short lived lake trips (turns out crawling babies aren’t that fun to bring to the lake), and gallons of rosé in my future.

Preggo Power Smoothie

I’ve been drinking this lovely creation for breakfast on the regular.

Terrible photo but the Seahawks glass makes up for it.

Terrible photo but the Seahawks glass makes up for it.

Yeah, it’s sort of (very?) hideous to look at. But it is full of ingredients that are supposed to be extra beneficial for pregnancy, and actually tastes pretty good.

Here is the basic recipe, this can definitely be tweaked many ways:

1 cup almond milk (I like Whole Food’s brand organic unsweetened vanilla)
½ cup ish organic plain yogurt (calcium, protein, probiotics)
½-1 frozen banana (potassium, fiber, creamy factor)
1 cup fresh or ½ cup frozen spinach (iron, folic acid)
2 TBSP flaxseed (omega 3s for brain development)
1 TBSP raw cacao powder (tastes like chocolate, lots of minerals, fiber, protein)
2 Medjool dates (supposedly make labor easier, fiber, tastes like hippie candy)

Blend and feel awesome about yourself because this shit is super healthy.

Cool Shit on the Internet

Happy Friday! My weekend plans include dinner with friends, a maternity photo shoot, and a sure to be ridiculous birthday party in the private room at Seattle institution Vito’s. We’ll see how long I can stay out. I should probably also do some baby prep things, other than laying on the couch and eating, that is.

Bump = excellent snack balancing spot

Bump = excellent snack balancing spot

A roundup of the best the internet had to offer this week (ok some are older, sorry not sorry):

1. To balance my Trader Joe’s post about delicious items, some not so delicious TJ’s offerings.
Everywhereist

2. This site is effing hilarious. Reductress

3. Definitely me when I’m old. The Cut

4. Football season is almost here, OMG! Amazing list of places to find Seahawks gear. Fresh Jess

5. Interesting photo series capturing lifestyles of the 1%. Refinery 29

Seattle Summer Classics

Summer is here, and it is glorious. Actually it has been here for quite a while. Thanks climate change! Seattle’s typical June-uary gloom seems like it may be a phenomenon of the past. Though our farms are totally screwed for water we are doing way better than California, so we can be thankful for that at least (back off, William Shatner).

Ain't she purty?

Ain’t she purty?


Below, a little roundup of activities to help maximize the delightfulness that is summer in the Pacific Northwest.

Drinks on a Patio
Get to a bar or restaurant with outdoor seating and order a beverage! And some oysters, fried seafood delights, or tacos. You’ll be joining like 45% of Seattle, so try to go at a less popular time (i.e. don’t roll through at 5pm on a Friday with 8 friends and expect to get a seat).

Marg at Little Water Cantina

Marg at Little Water Cantina


Westward, Little Water Cantina, Maximilien, and Terra Plata are a few of my favorites. Here is a nice little list if you need further inspiration.

Outdoor Music
There are so many good outdoor music options to be found in and around Seattle during summer. KEXP’s Concerts at the Mural series in August is FREE. Bumbershoot is a Seattle classic, though the lineup looks kind of random this year.

If you can deal with the hipster hordes, I highly recommend the Capitol Hill Block Party– if I wasn’t pregnant I would definitely be attending this year. For a slightly classier experience (I assume), I’ve been meaning to check out a concert at Chateau Ste. Michelle winery (two of my great loves, music and wine, in one place!) but I haven’t been so I can’t vouch for those.

Al Fresco Movie Night
If you’d rather remain in a reclined position while being entertained outdoors, hit up one of these.

Mariners Game
As a Seattleite you have to go to at least one Ms Game per summer, even if you think baseball is deadly boring. Safeco has great food options and beer/wine options galore. I don’t recommend trying to sneak in a flask on College Night-they will catch you and it will be embarrassing (not that I speak from experience…)

Safeco Field

Safeco Field


Find a Friend with a Boat
Ah the friend with a boat, so clutch. All of the fun with none of the cost or responsibility-it’s pretty much the perfect arrangement. Bring good snacks and booze and floaty toys and hopefully you will be asked back multiple times. Boating, in any format really, is the quintessential Seattle summer experience. Make it happen, even if you have to rent a canoe.

Holiday Detox Tea

The holidays are upon us. As such, some of us may experience occasional instances of slight overconsumption*. No judgment here! I’m usually feeling rather gouty by the time Jan 1 rolls around, myself.

If you do overeat/drink and feel gross, I recommend this tea. It’s my take on a few different variations of detox tea I’ve seen around, including one found at Seattle’s most delightful tea shop, Remedy. I usually start stress eating to warm up for the holidays by mid October, so I’ve been drinking this shit for months.

SO ARTSY

SO ARTSY

Here is how I make it. This stains like a mofo so be careful.

*Roman emperor style binges that seem to last for days on end.

Detox Tea

This is full of good shit. Lemons are a diuretic (aka they will debloat you), turmeric has anti-inflammatory properties, cinnamon does something good I am now forgetting, and ginger settles your stomach and aids digestion. You can also make this in larger batches to mix with your choice warm or cold milk product, kinda like chai.

Serves 1-2

  • ½ to 1 inch ish fresh ginger, grated or thinly sliced
  • Cinnamon, 1-2 sticks or a vigorous shaking’s worth (1 tsp ish I would guess)
  • Turmeric, about the same amount as cinnamon
  • Juice o’ one lemon
  • Optional: dash or so cayenne depending on how much of a spiciness badass you are

Pour some v. hot water over the ingredients and let steep for about 5 minutes, then strain into a mug. Stir in some honey to taste.

Recipe Roundup

I haven’t been feeling very inspired to write as of late, but I HAVE been feeling inspired to eat (thanks shitty weather and 5pm darkness). So, here are links to some fall-ish recipes that resulted in deliciousness. Some are healthy, some are fatty mcfatterson.

This is totally irrelevant but I am still finding it hilarious (via the Safeway pastry dept.)

This is totally irrelevant but I am still finding it hilarious (via the Safeway pastry dept.)

  • Jalapeno Mac and Cheese Holy shit was this good. And easy to make! I am planning to save this and reuse about a million times with other ingredients.
  • Roasted Potato and Paprika Chickpea Salad Simple, healthy fall salad. Roasted chickpeas are a delightful snack, too, if you make extra.
  • Apple Crumble So damn easy and so damn tasty. I may have made this twice last weekend, don’t judge me.
  • Crockpot Chicken Chili This is relatively healthy and seriously soooo delicious. I kind of ruined my nonstick skillet browning the peppers but I think it was worth it (just be careful during this step). Also of note, I only had vegan cream cheese and that worked fine.

An Ode to Costco

Costco, you may annoy the crap out of me at times with your slow moving minivans, hordes of shoppers, and shrieking children, but I just can’t quit you. For me, a small twinge of excitement precedes each Costco trip. This tells me that my love will endure, no matter how many times a tiny yet fiercely determined elderly woman rams my ankle with her cart en route to the pretzel dog sample station.

I definitely have my issues with car culture and rampant consumerism, which obviously makes me a bit conflicted about Costco and its big box ilk. However, as a native Arizonan I learned to drive on AZ’s broad, gridlike streets in AZ’s broad, gridlike, parking lot dominated cities. Parallel parking isn’t really a thing there; I wasn’t even required to parallel park in order to receive my driver’s license. Hence, I cannot deny that I do love me a parking lot. And not some Trader Joe’s parking garage of death bullshit: a good parking lot = wide lanes, wide spaces, two-way traffic allowed everywhere at all times. Costco’s parking lot, though admittedly road rage inducing at times, delivers.

Now that is what I call a parking space

Now that is what I call a parking space

In addition to the parking lot and the obvious shit like paper products and cheap liquor, a brief list of glorious things to be found and experienced at Costco:

Samples: OK this is obvious, but Costco’s sample bounty is amazing and I have to call it out. You can easily make a lunch of samples, if you aren’t trying to save room for pizza, fro yo, or the ever-mysterious Chicken Bake offered up for cheap at the Costco Café/Chez Costco/whatever it’s called. Insider tip: the samples are not just around on weekends, when the crowds make me want to shank someone. I was just at Costco on a Tuesday afternoon and there were delicious samples galore.

Socks: The clothing items are usually fairly atrocious but my favorite lounging socks ever are from Costco. I don’t remember what brand they are, but refer to the photo and if you see these, scoop them up by the bushel. Oh so warm and cozy.

Buy these immediately

Buy these immediately

Healthy food items: Of course there are fatty treats galore, like the horrifying frozen cheeseburgers my mom used to ply me and my sister with, but there are good deals on healthier, less processed stuff too. I always look for Amy’s and other organic frozen meal options, an organic frozen berry blend that I put in smoothies, Laughing Cow cheese, organic whole-wheat pasta, and organic nut butter.

Kale/quinoa/almond. So trendy! Processed but the ingredients are minimal and non chemical.

Organic, kale/quinoa/almond. So trendy! Processed but no weird chemicals.

Walla Walla ing

Oh how I love a weekend visit to Walla Walla. I was there recently for the nuptial celebration of some close friends and good times were had by all. Below are my recommendations for a truly delightful weekend in the Wallas.

Lodging

If you are going with friends, there are a bounty of nice but affordable house rental options available on VRBO. Get something within walking distance of downtown. Otherwise, the best hotel in town would be the Marcus Whitman, or there should be some inns/B&Bs that are probably worth seeking out (like the Inn at Abeja).

Food

Breakfast

Bacon and Eggs

Bacon and Eggs YUM

Bacon and Eggs YUM

Delicious. Trendy (i.e. their website uses the word “locavore” and they serve Stumptown coffee). The menu is huge and they have glorious AM booze options.

Tommy’s

Greasy spoon style diner with cheap, classic breakfast combos and 75 cent cups of coffee (what? Where else is that still a thing?). Definitely a locals’ joint. It’s near the Washington State Penitentiary, yay.

Lunch

I highly recommend that you taco, torta or burrito it up at a taco truck (La Monarca on Rose and 11th is dank) or Taqueria Yungapeti which is brick and mortar with a larger but still taco truck-esque menu and a salsa bar.

I usually go for the Walla Walla tacos or burrito, which come with your choice of meat, sautéed Walla Walla sweet onions and avocado.

Dinner

Brasserie Four downtown is great. Whitehouse Crawford is the schmanciest joint in town and I think the food can be a little overrated but service is top notch and the dining room is beautiful. People also really like Saffron but I haven’t been there.

WINE

What you really came for. There are so many good options that it can get overwhelming, but it’s hard to go wrong. Hire a driver and bring a giant water bottle. Remember that there is no shame in dumping/spitting.

Amavi Cellars

Gorgeous, modern tasting room with a stunning view of the Walla Walla area’s rolling pastoral hilliness. Great wine, too.

El Corazon

Their downtown tasting room is always a good time. They play good tunes.

Downtown Walla Walla

Walk around, taste wine at a few of the 30+ tasting rooms located downtown, check out Hot Poop record store and the various boutiques. Tasting rooms downtown that I like: K Vintners, Maison Bleue, Rotie, Trust.

Gramercy Cellars

This winery was founded by a Master Sommelier, which is super rare and cool and stuff. Amazing wines.

Airport area

This area is industrial and sort of an eyesore but there is a cluster of good wineries here, making it worth a stop if efficiency is your thing. Also there might be tractors around you can drunkenly pose in front of, not that I speak from experience. On this trip we stopped at, and liked, Buty, Tempus, Tamarack, Revelry and Adamant.

Pumpkin Dranks, #basic

Stating the obvious: people are obsessed with pumpkin flavored shit. Have you seen the bounty of pumpkin options at Trader Joe’s as of late? The pumpkin toaster pastries admittedly tempt me but does the world really need pumpkin croutons? PS Condom

I jumped on the bandwagon like the basic-whitegirl-in-denial that I am and crafted a couple pumpkin drink options this week. Both were pretty good. Better than a Starbuck’s PSL which I think taste like soap.

 Pumpkin Coffee Drink* (PSL if you must)

Ingredients:

  • Amount of coffee or espresso of your choice (I used about a cup of coffee)
  • ½-1 cup dairy product of your choice (I used unsweetened almond milk)
  • About ½ cup canned pumpkin (you could probably omit this-the spices are what bring the flavor. But I needed to get through the can of pumpkin I opened, YOLO, etc.)
  • ½ tsp. vanilla extract
  • Roughly ½ tsp. pumpkin spice OR roughly ½ tsp. cinnamon, ¼ tsp. nutmeg, small pinch ground cloves (I went this route and I eyeballed these amounts)
  • Optional: sweetener (I used a stevia packet)

Heat the dairy and pumpkin on the stovetop or in the microwave, unless you want an iced drink. Stir in the seasonings to dissolve.

Combine with the coffee/espresso in a blender, or just stir/whisk together.

*Adapted from The Skinny Confidential

Drinks will taste better if consumed thusly. Fact.

Drinks will taste better if consumed thusly. Fact.

Pumpkin Smoothie

I breakfasted on smoothies all summer and am not quite ready to say goodbye yet. This provides a nice transition to oatmeal season.

Blend these together:

  • ½ cup water or dairy (I used almond milk)
  • ½ cup ish canned pumpkin
  • Frozen, or non frozen, banana
  • Generous amount cinnamon
  • Optional: yogurt and/or raw cashews for more creaminess and protein