Mom Hacks: How To Not Look Like Crap

I wear a form of stretchy pants at least four out of seven days in any given week so maybe I’m not the best person to give advice on how not to look like shit. I also wear sweats, as in a legit men’s sweatsuit composed of a matching hoodie and extremely baggy pants. Point being, I’m not here to judge anyone.

I do, however, notice that when I put a small amount of effort into my appearance, I tend to feel better about life. And I do mean a SMALL amount. Here are some things I try to do when the showering once a week and wearing pants I slept in routine starts to wear me down.

Pants that aren't stretchy! They do have holes tho oops

Pants that aren’t stretchy! They do have holes tho oops

Easy Swaps
I am a ride or die Ugg wearer, deal with it. Uggs are easy, comfortable, and I actually like the silhouette. Yet sometimes real shoes are a good idea. So I bought these Chelsea boots from Nordstrom:

SHOES

SHOES

Stylish but painless to wear: they pull on. Not suede, so they won’t get totally fucked in the Seattle rain. I try to swap out my trusty Uggs for them a couple times a week. Other possible easy swaps I try to make when I am feeling dumpy: oversized sweater instead of sweatshirt, a more structured legging rather than my ratty old ones, throwing on a real coat instead of my husband’s parka. Baby steps.

Avery wreaking general havoc per usual

Avery wreaking general havoc per usual

The 15 Minute Rule
I’m the one who gets up with Avery in mornings. My husband works, and I’m home, so that’s just the way we roll. But I’ve started forcing dadpants to get up with enough time to allow me a brief stint to myself so I can get ready for the day. Being able to shut the bathroom door and spend some time on myself without needing to simultaneously prevent Avery from flushing the toilet repeatedly, accidentally ingesting toothpaste etc. makes a lot of difference in terms of my AM mindset. Bonus for everyone: I actually brush my teeth in the mornings now! And sometimes even floss them.

Kate Moss is my #momgoals

Kate Moss is my #momgoals

Embrace An Aesthetic That Works for You
My goal is cool rocker/tomboy mom. This is really easy because all my clothes are gray and black anyway, and my hair looks like crap so I can wear beanies and it works. I can throw on my trusty leather jacket over black yoga pants, maybe wear an ankle boot, and I have created an easy, comfortable, practical getup that also makes me feel like a decent human being. It becomes a uniform and then I don’t really have to think about it. As an overthinker, not thinking about shit sometimes is clutch for my sanity. If the rocker/tomboy mom isn’t you, there are a million other ways to go. Bohemian? Maxi dress and cardigan or army jacket. Glamorous? Knee high flat boots and hoop earrings. I’ve also found little, easy additions like a couple rings, or a scarf, or a cuff bracelet can help me feel more put together. Also, everyone knows this already, but dry shampoo. All day every day.

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Picks

Sometimes you buy a house and then start renovating it and then are on a budget and have to stop buying clothes for a while. This seems more bearable given that it’s summer and I can get away with wearing the same maxi dress and my trusty Birkenstocks constantly and pretending I am bohemian chic when really I just am unshowered with messy hair. I’ve been really good about not doing any shopping, but, per usual, the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is calling to me. Damn you Nordstrom! Here is what I’d be buying if not for my self imposed shopping freeze.

Vince coat
Jacket

I “need” a new coat for fall/winter and I’m feeling this one. I like the drape, I like the length, and I like that it could be dressed up or down. Even though as dressed up as I am likely to get all winter will probably be a sweater dress or actual pants in lieu of leggings.

rag & bone ankle bootie
Shoe

I think it’s time to upgrade my $30 super cheap looking “vegan” leather ankle booties. I may even opt for a camel or gray bootie. I’m trying to venture beyond black, into the exciting world of non-black neutrals. Baby steps. Color still kinda scares me.

Rebecca Minkoff satchel
Bag

I haven’t purchased a new bag in a couple years, and my most recent bag purchase entailed a faux leather (aka plastic) tote from Urban Outfitters that I use as a diaper bag #momglamour. A mom-ish but stylish bag would be a lovely fall purchase. Even though the bottom would no doubt soon be blanketed with stale Cheerio dust and other mysterious, vaguely disgusting substances. This Rebecca Minkoff tote could stash a fair amount of baby crap but also looks pretty cool and isn’t black. A winner!

Fall Fashion Wants

If I wasn’t on somewhat of a shopping hiatus given a) baby stuff costs a crapton of money, b) I’ll probably be wearing leggings and a sweatshirt for the next 6 months, and c) who knows what shape/size the bod will end up after this whole birth ordeal, here is what I would want to buy for fall.

Coat. I want some sort of long camel coat. Works well with my almost all black wardrobe. A few options:

AYR

AYR

Diane von Furstenberg

Diane von Furstenberg

Topshop

Topshop

Boots. OMG I realllllly want these Isabel Marant boots. I’ve been trolling the internet for a cheaper substitute with no luck.

Isabel Marant. WANT.

Isabel Marant. WANT.

Some burgundy boots or booties would also be nice (burgundy is all over the fall fashion mags and I am loving it). I like these. Suede is kind of a dumb idea in Seattle but it’s supposed to be a dry winter, so….

Ivanka Trump

Ivanka Trump

Bag. I’m craving a new handbag, either a tote or bucket bag. Either of these would do nicely since Will refuses to buy me the Balenciaga tote I really want to use as a diaper bag (rude).

Marc by Marc Jacobs

Marc by Marc Jacobs

Rebecca Minkoff

Rebecca Minkoff

Other randoms. I’m finding myself thinking about ponchos a lot. Practical yet bohemian and funky.

Temperley London

Temperley London

Also, I really want to find an amazing pair of high waisted jeans. That will probably be a tiring ordeal warranting a full post of its own later on…stay tuned.

What I Want To Wear Post Pregnancy

As I sit here in a black maternity maxi dress I’ve worn like 100 times, I’m beginning to look forward to some new clothing options. Granted, for the first few months I will probably be garbed in a dirty sweatsuit, but my hope is that I can eventually reclaim some semblance of personal style post baby.

I’m envisioning simple pieces with a slight edge, mostly in black. Very similar to my pre pregnancy attire, but hopefully with a few higher quality items thrown in. God damn it I’m bringing a new life into this world, and I feel like I’ve earned a bit of a wardrobe upgrade.

Here are three pieces I’ve been eyeing, courtesy Nordstrom. Given their amazing selection and seamless ordering/return process, I’m expecting that most of my post pregnancy clothing purchases will be sourced accordingly, online, whilst wearing the aforementioned dirty sweatsuit.

1. Leather leggings

Yum.

Yum.


I have been dreaming of leather leggings for years. I’ve tried on a few when I can find them on sale, but they have all run really short, and I’m not into a cropped look when it comes to leather pants. Tall people problems. These lambskin beauties should actually be long enough and holy shit are they gorgeous. I love me some Helmut Lang for simple, modern, yet somewhat affordable (for designer) pieces. I fully intend to gift these leggings to myself once I can fit into regular clothes again, and I may never take them off (baby vom wipes right off leather, yes?).

2. High waisted denim

Classic.

Classic.


I tend to purchase all my denim at Nordstrom Rack, which is great for the discount, but the selection just isn’t as robust as at regular old Nordstrom, so I end up with lots of different pairs of jeans that work but that I don’t necessarily love. I need to get away from that: fewer pieces, but really kick ass ones. These jeans would be a start. I love a high waist. Man I miss my waist.

3. Leather baseball cap

Pairs well with a diaper bag.

Pairs well with a diaper bag.


Expectations for my new mother hair situation are not high. I think this hat would be a badass way to keep that shit under wraps. Maybe not to be worn in conjunction with the leather leggings though…On that note, I can’t wait to embarrass my daughter in all my leather gear. It’s going to be awesome.

What to Wear Whilst Knocked Up

Getting dressed while pregnant kind of threw me at first. I didn’t look pregnant for a few months, but stuff wasn’t fitting right and some of my go to pieces just weren’t working. But now that I’ve hit month 7 of pregnancy, I think i’ve figured out how to clothe myself somewhat stylishly, affordably and effortlessly (real talk: pregnancy clothing needs to be comfortable and easy to wear). These general rules have helped me build a preggo wardrobe that works for me and helps me continue to feel like myself despite my newly acquired girth.

Dark Colors
I’m biased; I almost always wore mostly black pre womb occupation. Maybe it’s just my dark and evil soul. But, dark colors are inarguably more flattering, especially when you feeling kind of lumpy (sup, cankles).

ASOS

ASOS


Slim Cuts
I am a fan of close fitting silhouettes in pregnancy. They show off the bump and make the rest of you look slim in comparison (especially if you wear a dark color). I haven’t much liked drapey things I’ve tried; they make me feel like a walking circus tent/like I am trying to smuggle illicit things under my clothes.

Don’t Fear a Heel
If you rocked them before and feel confident you won’t topple over, I say keep wearing your heels. They may make you feel sexier which can be really self-esteem boosting while preggo. Just go for something with a built in platform, or a wedge, if you want to stay (relatively) comfortable.

Nordstrom

Nordstrom


Maxi Dresses
I’ve been able to continue wearing normal sized maxi dresses for quite a long time during my pregnancy. These are a great way to go if you want to buy things you’ll still be able to wear after you’ve popped out your kid.

Accessories Galore
Sometimes (most of the time really) all I want to wear is something stretchy, soft and black. This gettup can look surprisingly fashionable with some help from accessories. A bunch of bangles piled on is a great way to go: lots of impact and it doesn’t matter if your fingers are bloated (goodbye, rings). A bold, collar style necklace or haphazard pile of a few chains also works well. If you like hats, which I definitely do, a Panama style hat is great for summer or you can go against the season like me and rock a black felt number with a wide brim.

Embrace a Minimalist Wardrobe
I’ve found it really freeing to rely on a few staples I love during pregnancy-I’m no longer overwhelmed by an overflowing wardrobe. It’s a major time and money saver and really, most people won’t notice that you’ve worn that dress like five times. The minimalist wardrobe approach has been so helpful that post pregnancy, I’m going to commit to more of a capsule wardrobe and will try harder to buy fewer, but nicer, pieces I absolutely love and will get a lot of wear out of.

Where to Shop
Here is where I’ve had success finding non-dumpy maternity garb (I’ve mostly stuck to online shopping):

Joe's Jeans, A Pea in the Pod

Joe’s Jeans, A Pea in the Pod


ASOS: On trend and affordable. Can be somewhat hit or miss in terms of fit and quality but returns are easy. Good for special occasion wear.
Target: Affordable staples (t shirts, tanks, leggings), and workout wear.
Pea in the Pod/Motherhood Maternity: Good to go in person and grab a pair or two of designer maternity denim. I think high quality maternity jeans are worth the splurge. I bought some Joe’s skinny jeans that I love. People also rave about J Brand. Paige and 7 are other widely available brands.

Do you have any hot tips on what to wear during pregnancy, and where to find it? Leave it in the comments, I’d love to hear!